I've been thinking a lot lately about the idea of "coming full circle" and how it relates to my life. When I was born I was a pretty big baby, but being 4 weeks late that's not too surprising! However, all throughout my childhood I was skinny. I mean really skinny. I looked like my parents rarely fed me but believe me, I ate all the time! The problem was I was never fit. I was always clumsy and awkward, whereas all my friends were athletic. They all had toned muscles and I didn't. So when we all sat together in our shorts their thighs didn't spread out across the chair like mine did.
Being the insecure child I was I looked at that and figured I was just fat and they weren't. I developed the same distorted perception of my body that drives so many girls to starve themselves or binge & purge. I was fat and that's all there was to it. But I've never done things the "normal" way. Rather than trying to get even thinner, I subconsciously set out to prove to the world just how fat I really was!
Well, fast forward to the present and mission accomplished. By my 50th birthday I was more than 50 pounds overweight and had reached the point of "coming full circle." I started out fat and it looked like I was going to end up fat too. That skinny kid was just a phase I'd outgrown and now I just had to settle into my adult body.
But recently I started wondering if that was really the case? Just because I had completed the circle, did that mean my journey was complete? Did I really have to stop at the point where I'd started? After all, a circle has no real beginning or end, so why do I have to stop at any particular point? Why can't I keep going until I reach the skinny part again? So I made some changes in my life and am about to make more because I realized that I can decide to keep going and not stop where I started. I can choose my own end point and what that looks like. It may be hard and I may have to face many challenges, but by setting a target and keeping my eye on it, I know I can get there.
And I'm on my way! I'm not a big believer in scales so I really don't know how much weight I've lost, but I do know that the jeans I couldn't even begin to get into last summer are now baggy on me! I've got a ways to go, but I've got a plan on how to get there and I'm sticking to it. If you'd like to follow me on my journey check out my Shrinking Fat Chick page. Let's keep going until we have reached the point of our circle that we want to reach, and let's not let anything stop us!